I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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