The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
