he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize