The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
