No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
