I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
