yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When did angry sex become our thing?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
