Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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