Ambien. No doubt about it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
