Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize