as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
