Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
