We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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