My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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