Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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