I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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