Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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