He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
