I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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