I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
