He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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