Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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