I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
