Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
