so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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