Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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