FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize