so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
