in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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