On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
