I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize