i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
