sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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