i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
