And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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