Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
