Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
