After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
