well you can't waste a boner
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
