Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
