it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
