He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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