What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
