I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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