I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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