If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
