Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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