im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
