oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
