Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You made out with two different species that night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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