Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize