I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize