i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have fence marks all over my body
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
