i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
