Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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