im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I will pee on everything he values.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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