I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
