there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
