dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sorry about my life...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
