Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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