I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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