I wish my penis had an off switch
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
