i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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