Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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