So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
